The search for a good night's sleep

It’s a brand new day in a brand new month and all I can think of is why am I not getting any sleep? You know how there are days when you crave for a thing — may be something to eat, read or dress. After an endless craving for more books, a battle that I have wisely left to fate, I now just want to sleep. A dreamless night of pure and unadulterated sleep — is that so much to ask? Apparently so, if you go by the number of people who suffer from insomnia and the other sleep apnea.

Mine is just a case of a week of listless and fitful sleep and I’m worried that I’d have batman-like dark circles (I swear, a professor of mine did have dark circles that looked like the bat symbol). Generally, I’m not sleep hungry; I can happily survive on five hours of slumber but those five hours have to be undisturbed and relaxing. Where is Hypnos or his son Morpheus when you need them? A week of blissful sleep and the pattern repeats itself. I am back to broken sleep, one where I know what time it is, who is up in the house, who just left the room, the cars outside, the damn birds chirping, the prayer call for the faithful — I’m painfully aware of all of it. Yet, I dare not open my eyes for fear of actually having to stay awake. So I’m asleep, yet not asleep, awake yet not awake!

So what am I doing to combat this? I tried reading till late or watching reruns of old series to tire myself but sleep is still elusive. If nothing, I find my mind too hyper, full of images and thoughts of the characters. I tried clearing my mind, you know telling myself, relax and let your mind be blank; it does work at times but then an errant word pops on that wonderful blank board and I shoo it off, only to have more of them appear and then it’s back to negotiating with sleep gods to have some mercy. I’ve also tried prayers with some better results; there’s nothing like the monotonous tone of prayers on the prayer beads, with your head against the pillow. My mother always believed that the devil was at work, keeping the faithful from completing their prayers.

Yet, for all my troubles, I still seem to have a hard time finding a good night’s sleep. I think I’m going to invest in a dream catcher, though I don’t know how that’s going to work, given that I have to fall asleep to dream but I’m hoping the dream catcher looks forward to catching something and casts a spell on me. Or I might invoke Morpheus with all my heart and ask him to sing me to sleep or whatever. It’s so ironic that when I want to sleep, I can’t and when I have to stay awake, I can’t. Sleep deprivation in the night is making me sleepy all through the day. Talk about luck!